


Going Home

by Rebekah_Zellers



Category: NCIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 10:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16061030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebekah_Zellers/pseuds/Rebekah_Zellers
Summary: I have been noticing some things in the Tony & Gibbs dynamic that is irritating the hell out of me.   I can't fix the show but I can write something to resolve it.This isn't so much a senior bashing story as it is a wake up call.Summary:  When Tony reaches out to his father for help; he's hurt when Senior puts his love life above Tony's health.  With things still strained between Gibbs and Tony... what does he do when he needs help?





	1. Chapter 1

Time and circumstance changed things there was no doubt about that but Tony never realized how much the death of Jackson Gibbs would change his boss. The older man was as moody as what Gibbs could get. One moment he was keeping his distance to keep his team safe; the next he was hovering nearby watching as they interacted.

 

Senior’s relocation to D.C. meant that Tony was now on the receiving end of many of Gibbs’ short tempered moods. He knew that his boss wasn’t thrilled with the tension that still was present from time to time between father and son; the older agent yearning to have the time with Jackson that was taken from him by his death.

 

Tony yearned to love his father has much as he could tell Gibbs loved Jack. He wished that he could have a relationship with the older man that would prove to be deep and meaningful instead of awkward and confusing. More than anything he wanted to know that no matter what, his father would be there for him.

 

The chance to prove his father’s devotion and change just as the weather started to change over after a long, hard winter. Tony wasn’t feeling well when he left NCIS on Friday night; he tried to stop at the drugstore to get some medicine but felt too exhausted to even make it into the store.

 

Sitting in the parking lot of his apartment building, the younger man dozed fitfully behind the wheel of his car unable to put one foot in front of the other to even get inside. The temperatures while warming during the day plummeted at night and soon Tony found himself shivering. Pulling out his phone, he pushed the speed dial for his father praying the man would answer.

 

“Junior,” AJ answered the phone. “I’m entertaining a lady friend, son. Can I call you back?”

 

“Dad?” Tony croaked out through a sore throat. “I need some help here.”

 

“What’s wrong?” Senior sounded a little concerned but more irritated than anything. “Can’t you call Gibbs? I’m sure he would come help you.”

 

Sighing deeply, Tony fought back the tears that threatened to spill. How could it be possible that the man that had showed such promise was retreating back to his old ways? Hanging up the phone, Tony put it in his pocket and tried to snuggle into his coat enough to get a little rest. Maybe a nap would give him the energy to get into his apartment building.

 

Gibbs gut churned as he sanded the boat; he couldn’t put his finger on what was bothering him but there was a dull ache as a reminder that something wasn’t right. Sanding a little longer, Gibbs was pulled from his worry by a text from Senior.

 

“? Jr. Sry he had 2 call u. lady friend staying over.”

 

Gibbs heart skipped a beat as he read the text again. Confused, he called Senior not caring if he was entertaining the Queen. “What about Tony?”

 

“He called me earlier said he needed help; I told him to call you. I finally got Samantha from 212 to come stay over; she’s a catch.”

 

“Your son called you for help and you ignored him? Why didn’t YOU call ME?” Gibbs growled as he grabbed his keys heading for the door.

 

“I was busy, Gibbs. Why are you so mad? What has Junior done now?” Senior groaned; he really just wanted to go back to his date.

 

“He didn’t call me for starters,” Gibbs snapped. Slamming his phone shut, the older man took off in the direction of Tony’s apartment. Thinking back to the day, he realized he should have picked up on a number of things that indicated Tony needed someone with him. The pale color of his skin; the chapped lips and the rosy tint to his cheeks were a good indication that the younger agent was ill. He hadn’t even said good-bye to anyone when he left just seemed to be trying to get out of the building quickly.

 

Tony’s car was in the parking lot when Gibbs pulled in but there was something wrong; deeply wrong with the picture. The door to the driver’s side was open and his agent appeared to have fallen asleep trying to get out of the car.

 

“Tony?” Gibbs placed a gentle hand on his agent’s knee. “Come on, DiNozzo; I need you to help me get you out of the car.” Gibbs tried hard to get Tony to move but with very little success. He finally found himself opening the passenger’s side door so that he could see his friend. “Tony?”

 

“Boss?” Tony’s eyes blinked as he looked up into Gibbs’ concerned face. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Came to check on you,” the older man helped his ill friend sit up. “We need to get you out of the cold, Tony. Do you think you can help me?” Gibbs propped his agent against the seat to keep him upright long enough to hurry around to the driver’s side. “Come on, son. You have to get out of the cold.”

 

Tony’s mind clicked on one word…son. In that instance, he struggled to help; he gave all he had in him to make at least one father figure proud. Soon he was on his feet and being pushed in the direction of his apartment building door. “No please.”

 

“We need to warm you up, Tony.” Gibbs kept his voice soft and caring; his worry growing by the moment. “I’m right here.”

 

“Please,” Tony grabbed onto the collar of Jethro’s coat. “Not here.”

 

“Why?” Gibbs was confused and worried. Was Tony in another Jeanne Benoit type situation? Was there a chance that something was going on that he didn’t know about that was causing his agent distress?

 

“Wanna go home,” Tony pointed to Gibbs car. “Please, Boss.”

 

“My house, Tony?” Gibbs felt his heart clench at the words of his agent… home.

 

“Please home with you, Gibbs. Wanna go home.” Tony’s eyes filled with unshed tears; he was miserable and almost incoherent. By the time he was situated in the car, Tony was shaking violently.

 

The state of confusion worried Gibbs more than the heat that was pouring off Tony’s body. Finding blankets in his trunk he bundled up his charge as he placed a call to Ducky. By the time he reached home, Ducky and Palmer were waiting for him; both equally concerned by the state that Tony was in.

 

“What happened, Jethro?” Ducky’s voice was concerned but soft so that he didn’t scare his patient.

 

“Got a text from his father,” Gibbs explained. “Tony called him for help; he told him to call me. He didn’t call me but I don’t know why.”

 

“Mr. Palmer?” Ducky turned to his associate. “Do you have any idea as to why young Anthony wouldn’t call Jethro for help?”

 

“I would rather not get in the middle of this one.” Palmer took a deep breath. “I will say this much to you Agent Gibbs, you need to really think about how you’ve been treating him lately.”

 

Stunned, Gibbs stood confused trying to work out what Palmer was trying to tell him; the memories of the last year flashing through his mind as the anger over his father’s death was projected on Tony. Moments of irritation and resentment settled into Gibbs’ mind he was angry for the fact that Senior was very much alive and Tony was wasting precious time settling into his mind. Looking back now at the big picture, the flashes of anger that he watched Tony cycle through was justified. Blinking hard, he stood watching helplessly as Ducky and Palmer worked to care for his agent; his friend, his surrogate son. Did he even deserve that? Did he deserve to even think of Tony as a son after all the damage he had once again done to their relationship.

 

“Jethro!” Ducky’s voice snapped him out of his head space. “Please get over here and see if you can calm him down; I need to inject this medication into his hip and he’s fighting me.”

 

“No needles,” Tony begged. “Please no more needles. No more please, Boss! Boss?! Gibbs?! Oh God, I let him die.”

 

“Tony,” placing a hand on Tony’s head the older agent ran a calloused thumb over his forehead. “I’m not dead, Tony. Open your eyes, DiNozzo; look at me.” Tony’s eyes popped opened settling on Jethro’s face. Relaxing at the touch, the caress that if he concentrated hard was full of love and acceptance instead of just a way to get him to cooperate; he longed to have his old relationship back with Gibbs. Tony longed to belong somewhere like he had back when he first came to NCIS.

 

The medication worked quickly and soon Tony was deeply asleep unaware of the conversations going on in the room with him. “He’s not relaxing even in his sleep.” Ducky observed. Looking around the bedroom, Ducky noticed the room had lost the Tony influence that it once had. It was no longer referred to as Tony’s room; it was just the spare room. The television and movies were long gone, the bedding that Tony had brought over was stored in the closet not seeing the light of day in a couple years. There was nothing in this room that made this the home that the young man once had regarded it.

 

“Agent Gibbs?” Palmer scrubbed his hand over his face. “I wasn’t going to get involved but the more I think about this the more I think that someone needs to be an advocate for Tony. All his life all he has wanted was someone to love him and accept hm. All his life, he has just wanted to belong. When he first came here; he did. You were like a father figure to him; he appreciated the love and the concern you would show. There were times that his life was spiraling so far out of control that you were his anchor. When his father came back into the picture, you backed off; you unloved him. Before that, it was anger and rage over him trying for something that he longed for, love. Prior to that you were trying to keep him from making the same mistakes you’ve made in your life when it comes to love and family. With all due respect, Agent Gibbs, you have played a horrible game with his mental and emotional health. It has to stop now. You are either going to be his friend or you’re just going to be his employer. If you don’t want that relationship that you had all those years ago; then let him go. Let him go work for one of the other agencies that make him offers that are way better than anything NCIS has ever done for him. He’s stayed for you. If you can’t be there for him, let him go.”

 

“If I may be so bold, Jethro. You haven’t married since Anthony joined your team. I suspect he fulfilled that need for family that you longed for. However, you’ve become angry and distant since Jackson’s death. You treat the poor boy like you could care less about him. You’ve been hard on him and the rest of your team. What is it that you want Jethro? I know that you are feeling cheated by your father’s death; I know you feel guilty for the years lost and the years you didn’t get to recover. What you are doing is turning that into anger and projecting it on the one person that you know will never walk away from you no matter how hard you hit them. What you didn’t count on was the fact that while that person would be there to be that for you that they have realized that they cannot count on you unless it is in the field and only then they do it because they have two other agents to back them up.”

 

“Duck,” Gibbs paused; he was at an absolute loss for words; his heart full of anguish as he processed the words of Tony’s friends; his friends. The men made more sense than anything had in a very long time and Gibbs stood searching for an answer on how to fix things. They were right in their summation on how he had been treating Tony and if he was honest with himself they were correct as to why. Thinking over the words of his younger friend, he found part of the answer and was going to need some help.

 

“Palmer?” Gibbs looked up to the one man that always had Tony’s back. “Can you help me with something?”

 

The two men worked quietly to restore the room to what Gibbs had one time thought of as the DiNozzo Domain. They put the television that Gibbs had stored onto the dresser, hooked up the DVD player and much to Palmer’s surprise even made sure the cable was ran. They added Tony’s comforter taking away the old one that Gibbs had thrown on the bed the last time his father had come to visit. The pillows, they eased out from under Tony’s head one at a time to replace them with the ones that he insisted felt like sleeping on a cloud. The sheets would be changed the first time Tony was up to the bathroom; they would do what they had to do to bring Tony home.

 

“What are you going to do about his father?” Palmer questioned softly as he placed a cool cloth over Tony’s fevered forehead. “He is really sick and his father ignored him.”

 

“Thought about making him come help me take care of him,” Gibbs grunted. “But Tony wouldn’t get any rest; he would be a bundle of nerves. I didn’t realize how self-involved his father was until tonight. He didn’t even seem concerned.”

 

 

“Why don’t we leave Dr. Mallard with Tony and go make a house call?” Palmer said with a grin on his face that indicated only one thing.. he had a plan and it was going to be pure, evil genius.


	2. Chapter 2

story Note: I have pulled in Loretta from NCIS: NOLA.. love that character and the actress!!! I am very proud of this chapter! I am pulling no punches with Gibbs or Senior! Enjoy!!

 

 

On with the story..

 

When we left the previous chapter… Palmer was devising against Senior and an unsuspecting Gibbs… Here we go!

 

 

Palmer had excused himself to make some phone calls while Gibbs tried to calm Tony enough to relax in his sleep. The older agent was feeling every single one of his years of age at the moment; the days of long hours and living for the next case catching up to him as he processed how much the younger man was hurting.

 

“How is he?” Palmer questioned quietly as he walked back into the room.

 

“Seems calmer,” Gibbs shrugged really not processing anything else in the room except Tony. He sat when Palmer put a chair behind him and gently pushed him into the seat. He refused to leave Tony; he wouldn’t break contact with his friend. The calloused thumb that gently smoothed the ailing man’s brow seemed to be the only thing keeping him from getting lost in a sea of horrible dreams.

 

“I will be back in a little while,” Palmer explained softly. “Dr. Wade will be over to help and so will Delores. Let them in; let them help you. We’re family, Gibbs. The sooner you realize that you have a pretty spectacular one; the sooner we can work on getting things back on track.

 

“I will,” Gibbs nodded; he was feeling a vulnerability that made him want to vomit. He had not only let his agents down; he had hurt his surrogate son. How much pain must Tony have been in to not call for help? To sit in a cold car, in the cold weather , too exhausted and sick to go in where it was warm and yet he elected to freeze instead of call him.

 

“Get out of your head,” Ducky said softly as he put the last of his medical devices away. “I’m going to go fix up the spare room; we’re going to have people here that need some rest. Loretta and I can take turns, Jethro. That way you always have someone with a medical degree with you.”

 

“What do you think Palmer is going to do?” Gibbs looked so lost when he looked at his old friend. “How is he going to get through to Senior?”

 

“Mr. Palmer will take a unique approach at the elder DiNozzo, I dare say.” Ducky sighed deeply. “I do not know if he will be able to break through that self-centered persona of his but I do believe he will give it all he has for our Anthony.”

 

By the time Palmer returned, Loretta was sitting at Tony’s bedside gently sponging down his fevered body with cool water. The older woman kept at her task, whispering soothing words of comfort to her patient all the while ignoring Anthony Senior as he watched in horror from the doorway.

 

“What is he doing here?” Gibbs whispered as he crested the top of the stairs with a tray in his hand. “We agreed that Tony doesn’t need to be upset by him.”

 

“He isn’t going near him or speaking,” Palmer explained. “I wanted him to see exactly what kind of shape Tony is in and how a real family takes care of things. Go back to Tony, Gibbs. We’re leaving.”

 

“Jethro?” Loretta’s voice called to him, breaking him from the uncertainty of the moment. He was feeling very unsteady on his feet and his gut churned as he watched Palmer proceed down the hallway with Tony’s father. “Come with me,” Loretta guided him back into the room. “Let’s get some fluids into our fella.”

 

Gibbs pulled Tony up so that he was almost in his lap and watched with a tinge of jealousy mixed with guilt as Loretta cajoled Tony into drinking. “Tony? Baby? You need to get some of these fluids into you. Wake up a little, sweetie. I need you to help me.”

 

Opening his eyes, Tony watched Loretta with great fascination as she held the juice to his lips and encouraged him to drink. There was something loving and kind about this woman; he liked her the first time he met her although it was via MTAC.

 

“Hi Dr. Wade,” Tony smiled brightly as he finished his juice. “What brings you here?”

 

“Hi Tony,” Loretta smiled and Tony’s heart melted; he could see kindness in her features. “I was in town to attend a medical conference and I heard you weren’t feeling very well.”

 

“I was so tired,” Tony whispered. “I called my dad; I knew I needed help but he said call Gibbs.”

 

“Did you call Gibbs?” Loretta pushed gently for the answers she knew were needed.

 

“No,” Tony sighed and leaned back a little not realizing it was Gibbs holding him up. “I don’t think he would have come to help me; he doesn’t like me very much anymore.”

 

“Why do you say that, sweetie?” Loretta spooned in some apple sauce as she spoke watching as Tony’s mind tried to keep up despite his exhaustion.

 

“He doesn’t talk to me much. I used to go to his house all the time now, I can’t go over. He locks his door now; I tried to come see him last week to talk to him about something and the door was locked. I don’t know when he got locks; he never used to lock it. I guess he wanted to keep me out.”

 

“Did you ask him about it?” Loretta gently wiped the tears from Tony’s face. “Maybe there was another reason?”

 

“No,” Tony shook his head. “I didn’t want to be a bother. Maybe I was too needy before; I don’t know. I like going to Gibbs’ house because it feels like home. Sometimes, I forget that he really likes to be alone and maybe I am intruding.”

 

“Maybe Gibbs is just a little lost right now, Tony.” Loretta put a straw to Tony’s lips encouraging him to drink some water. “Everyone gets lost once in a while, honey. Even the strongest people break but the difference there is they don’t like anyone to see them vulnerable so they lock themselves away to hide until they can recover.”

 

“I loved Jackson,” Tony’s voice was sad and soft almost like a child. “Gibbs forgets that all of us knew him and some of us really loved him. I called him every week; we’d talk about everything and nothing at the same time. I went to see him by myself a few times; I just needed to feel like I belonged somewhere and Jackson was always that somewhere.”

 

“Does Gibbs know that?” Loretta studied Jethro’s face as Tony spoke, the shock and pain flashing through his features as his agent spoke.

 

“No,” Tony shook his head. “I didn’t want him to get mad at me; I wasn’t trying to take him away I just wanted to be where life made sense. In Stillwater, it was like being on an episode of the Waltons; you were loved by family no matter what was wrong.”

 

“So you were John Boy?” Loretta teased a bit to show Tony she was interested.

 

“No,” Tony yawned. “Gibbs is John Boy. I would be Jason or maybe even Ben. I’m so tired, Dr. Wade. Can I sleep now?”

 

“You can sleep if you promise to call me Loretta when you wake up.” Loretta caressed Tony’s cheek to soothe him as she spoke. Getting a nod from her boy, the lady doc helped tuck him back in and free Gibbs from where he had been holding him. “You just sleep now; we’ll work on fixing things later. Okay?”

 

“Good Night, ma.” Tony teased with a yawn.

 

“Good night, Ben.” The banter was light as Tony fell into a deep sleep his burden a bit lighter.

 

“He didn’t realize I was there,” Gibbs scrubbed a hand over his face.

 

“Listen to me,” Loretta took Gibbs by both shoulders. “He felt secure in your hold; he knew he was safe. That is what you have to concentrate on right now, Jethro. He said a lot; you have a lot of thinking to do.”

 

Palmer drove in silence; his mind whirling on all the ways that he could make Senior understand that it takes more than sharing a name to be family. Finding himself at the dock where many years ago, earlier in his career at NCIS, he was called to a scene so unbelievable that he had to relay the experience to the elder Senior.

 

“Do you see that water?” Palmer pointed out into the Washington Channel. “My best friend risked his life to pull two people from that water. Gibbs and a young woman that was his daughter’s friend were trapped in a car at the bottom of this murky water. Tony managed to dive in there twice and pull them both out, get them up here on the dock and perform CPR on them, saving their lives until help arrived. By the time we got here, he was gasping for breath as he kneeled between both Maddy and Gibbs.”

 

“He could have died,” Senior looked out over the filthy water unable to see the bottom. “What the hell was he thinking?”

 

“He was thinking that the first person in his life to ever really give a damn about him was trapped in the car in the bottom of the channel. There was a raw instinct that takes over when someone you love is in danger, hurt, scared or even sick. If Tony had not been able to save Gibbs or Maddy; the guilt would have eaten him alive.” Palmer studied Senior for a moment. “How do you sleep at night?”

 

“They make drugs for that?” The answer was snarky and cold; Senior’s pride was battered, his ego bruised and his feelings hurt. The son that he brought into this world had little to no regard for what was important to him but he would risk his life to save the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

 

“How in the world did you manage to have such a wonderful son?” Palmer growled. “It’s becoming more and more evident to me why he clowns around so much. He’s insecure and scared. You never gave him the basic tools to go through life; you didn’t teach him the fundamentals we learn as children to survive in this world. As long as he is Tony the cop, he’s fine. He can play that role; he can do what he has to do and be the best damn law enforcement officer possible but when it comes to being Tony; he just doesn’t know how.”

 

“You are heaping a whole lot of blame on me, Jimmy.” Senior defended. “What about his mother?”

 

“From my understanding,” Palmer steeled himself for the next leg of the battle. “She gave her life protecting him from your alcoholism, your womanizing, your neglect and your abuse. From the stories that I have heard, she gave everything she had to protect her son; the great love of her life, her best accomplishment.”

 

“She was the love of my life,” Senior whispered.

 

“And Tony was hers.” Palmer retorted. “You should have loved and protected what she cherished after she was gone. Instead, you discarded it like a worn out pair of shoes that she left behind. You tossed your son away.”

 

“He was a constant reminder of what I lost,” Senior snapped.

 

“In your head because she defied you by dying,” Palmer moved across the dock towards the car; he needed a few seconds of distance between him and the elder DiNozzo before he caused damage that Tony didn’t need to deal with.

 

“Mr. DiNozzo?” A female voice came from behind him causing Senior to turn towards the darkness. “My name is Delores Bumstead; I want to tell you the story of how your son unwittingly saved my life.”

 

“You Navy?” Senior sighed deeply; he was feeling a mix of emotions at the moment.. most of them foreign to him.

 

“I work at NCIS,” Delores explained. “Your son was my Secret Santa a few years ago. Tony bought me this beautiful doll; she was one that I had dreamed of as child. I longed to have her and he found out. He also found out that Santa didn’t bring her that year or the next. That day, he didn’t know it but I had cleaned up my desk, cleared out anything personal from my office and had my apartment spotless and organized.”

 

“You were going to kill yourself?” Senior stood stunned.

 

“I was tired of being alone,” Delores’ eyes filled with tears. “I was scared of dying alone but living alone was worse. That day, Tony gave me my gift and we went out for dinner after. We talked until dawn only going home when we were both too exhausted to speak any more. I went home that night and slept for twelve hours; I was so happy and felt something that I don’t ever remember feeling before, I felt loved. Gibbs’ team has become my family; a family that I longed for. You do not seem to put any merit on Tony’s life or his place in this world. You are missing out on something beautiful.”

 

“You’ve got this all wrong,” AJ tried to charm his way onto Delores’ good side. “I think my son is a great man.”

 

“Just one you cannot be bothered with?” Vance stepped to Delores’ side. “I am to understand that you refused one of my top agents assistance when he called you and now he’s receiving around the clock medical care to fight off an infection that his weakened body really cannot afford.”

 

“Weakened body?” Senior looked confused.

 

“Weakened body, Mr. DiNozzo.” McGee stepped out of the shadows with an evidence file in his hand. Pulling a picture from the inside, he handed it to Senior. “That is a picture of some evidence in a case that took place a few years ago.”

 

“This is a picture of Anthony in hospital bed.” Senior looked from the picture in his hand to Tim’s face. “I don’t think I understand.”

 

“That would be because you couldn’t be bothered then either.” Tim snipped. “Tony came in contact with pneumonic plague. He almost died as a result. I called you several times; you did not return my calls or even come to see your son. When you came to D.C. and decided you were making a life here; I had guarded hope that maybe Tony would finally get the relationship with you that he longs for but so far all I have seen is you running to Gibbs every time there is a bump in the road putting strain on his relationship with Tony.”

 

“Gibbs is a friend,” DiNozzo defended handing the picture back to Tim. “Why wouldn’t Is seek his counsel when it comes to my son?”

 

“Are you really seeking his counsel, Mr. Dinozzo? “ Tim moved to stand closer. “Or is it that you know every time he is forced into a situation by you to play referee he loses patience with Tony and they never recover? Are you working to destroy a relationship that you have been jealous of all these years?”

 

“You’ve got this all wrong, Tim.” Senior smiled trying to defuse the situation.

 

“I don’t think he does,” Abby joined Tim on the dock.

 

“Abigail?” Senior’s world was now off kilter.

 

“You have hurt him for the last time,” Abby moved toward the older man causing him to back up a couple steps. “You either pull your head out of your ass or you leave D.C. Those are the only two choices you have. If you choose to stay, know this… we will be watching you.”

 

“Before you decide,” a new voice came through the darkness. “I want to tell you the story of how a young college student with no training ran into a burning building and saved my life. However, the story doesn’t just end there that man would grow up to be a damn fine cop but one that was haunted by the memory of my little sister’s screams as she burned to death in that building. We couldn’t get to her to save her; the fire was too fierce. Tony saved my life and has never forgotten my sister. It took me a long time to forgive him for not getting her out but it’s taken him even longer to forgive himself. Your son is a hero without even trying to be a hero. You need to wake up before you lose the one and only thing in this world that should matter to you more than your own life.”


	3. Chapter 3

Gibbs paced the hallway as his mind cycled through everything that Tony had said. The young man that was part of his heart; his family was feeling betrayed and now that Gibbs forced himself to examine the evidence, he knew why.

 

The memories of the times he had been so short tempered with Tony flashed in his mind. There were times when practically walked the younger man to the door to get rid of him. He had been too rough on him the times he came to him for advice about love. Had made him feel like a failure when he changed the holiday plans to include Amira and Leyla leaving Tony to feel as if he were the charity case; something to be pitied.

 

He hadn’t even considered Tony’s feeling when Jackson died; the man was regarded as family by his father. Tony hadn’t been given time to mourn; to process the loss of someone he adored. He had to take charge of the team, had to step up and solve the case. There had been the drive to Stillwater with the team arriving just in time to clean up the mess that Gibbs life had made on such a solemn occasion.

 

Thinking back to the weeks that had followed Jackson’s death, Gibbs’ found his heart clenching with emotional pain. He never questioned who or how but the fridge always had prepared meals in it. There was always fresh coffee on his desk and breakfast waiting for him when he came down from meeting with Vance. The three agents on his team all worked quietly exchanging glances that Gibbs noticed as he tucked into the food and coffee every morning.

 

“Oh Tony,” Gibbs groaned. “I don’t deserve your loyalty.”

 

“No, you don’t.” Tim said softly as he crested the top of the stairs. “No offense Gibbs but you’ve been an ass lately.”

 

“McGee,” Gibbs stopped to reflect not on the words but the emotion in them.

 

“No,” Tim snapped. “I know what it is like to lose a father. I know, Gibbs. I didn’t get to say good-bye and I didn’t get to say all those other things that I have been wanting to tell him. All those things that I should have said to his face while I had the chance.”

 

“He knew,” Gibbs reassured.

 

“No,” Tim shook his head. “He didn’t because that wasn’t what our family did or who we were. If I have learned anything from being part of this team, our team, it’s that you don’t waste time. Time is precious. You said to me ‘your father made time for you, return the favor.’ What about Tony? He’s made time for you; looked after you and cared for you but you haven’t returned the favor, Gibbs. I know you feel that he owes Senior some loyalty because the man is his father but it takes more than being blood to be a father or a dad. Senior doesn’t deserve either title, Gibbs. My partner in lying in that room very sick; he needed help. His father denied him help; his father stood in the midst of a handful of people tonight that tried to explain his son to him and tried to baffle them with bullshit instead of realize what good man Tony is.”

 

“I wonder if Agent Gibbs needs to hear the same things that were said to Mr. DiNozzo; perhaps it would help.” Delores started towards the room that she knew Tony was in. “You really need to pay more attention to the person that makes up the agent instead of being so focused on just closing the case. You push your team too hard; they need the basic necessities of life to keep going and sometimes you deny them those. When was the last time that you took care of them or allowed them to be taken care of?”

 

“Excuse me?” Gibbs head snapped to attention as he took a defensive stance.

 

“Food, fluids, sleep.” Delores commented. “They are not machines; they are people. This last case, you were at NCIS for eighty-two hours. In that time, did you let Tony sleep or take the time for a decent meal?”

 

“Tony made sure we all had food,” Tim interjected. “Every time he sat down to eat, Gibbs sent him off to chase a lead. I wish my father was still alive too, Gibbs. I do. You don’t see me punishing Tony because Senior is alive and here now. I understand a bit more the complexities of his relationship with him. I watched Tony when he had pneumonia; when he couldn’t breathe. I prayed hard each time he inhaled waiting for him to exhale.. a long wait sometimes. I longed to give him that father son moment that I thought he should have because his life was hanging in the balance. I called his father three times; he never called or came. He could be bothered and I felt so defeated that I couldn't give Tony that time with his father. It took until the first time I saw the change in him when you came to sit with him to know that he had that in you. What I don’t understand is how you can walk away from that; how you can just make it like all those years mean nothing.”

 

“I need some help in here,” Loretta’s panicked voice called out sending everyone into the room to find Tony thrashing in the throes of a fever induced nightmare; crying out at unseen monsters that plagued him, hurt him. “He won’t calm down and I’m afraid he’s going to hurt himself.”

 

Gibbs moved quickly to sit on the bed bringing Tony into a sitting position leaning against his chest. “I’ve got you, Tony. Just take it easy, it’s just a dream. Let it go, son.” It took a few minutes but Tony’s breathing finally slowed and his fever bright eyes opened trying to figure out where he was.

 

“There you are,” Loretta smiled. “I want you to drink a little water and just try to relax.”

 

“Loretta?” Ducky quickly entered the room to look over their patient. “We need to get this fever down; I will go run a cool bath.”

 

Gibbs stood by watching as Loretta and Ducky cared for Tony. They were able to get him to the bathroom and undressed before Palmer’s irritation took over. “What are you doing?” Palmer growled at Gibbs. “Any other time, you would have stepped in to help them; you’re just standing here like this is some damn spectator sport. When his body hits that cool water, he’s going to panic. You need to be there when he does; he needs a father figure and I thought that you were the only one qualified for that job until now.”

 

“Mister Palmer,” Ducky chided. “Perhaps your services would be best served downstairs with Delores making some soup and things for our patient; help Timothy figure out what to bring from Anthony’s apartment.”

 

Gibbs stood in the doorway waiting for direction. “What can I do, Duck? I don’t want to upset him.” Tony started to fight as soon as his foot was in the water almost toppling Ducky and Loretta over. “I’ve got you, Tony.” Gibbs stepped up and pulled Tony’s head to his shoulder. “You have to get into the water to get your fever down. I’ve got your six, let’s get this done.”

 

Tony was compliant, his body not relaxed at all but he went willingly into the water hissing in discomfort as he sat down. Gibbs sponged the water over his shoulders, stomach and chest keeping his movements smooth and he kept up a light dialog. “I’ve got you, Tony. Just take it easy, won’t let you fall. Just relax, I’ve got you.”

 

“Gibbs?” Tony blinked hard and looked up at his boss. “What is going on?”

 

“You are running a high fever,” Gibbs explained. “We had to get it down so Loretta and Ducky wanted you to take a cool bath. How are you doing?”

 

“Okay,” Tony shivered as his mind tried to catch up with his body. “He wouldn’t help me, Gibbs. My dad wouldn’t help me.”

 

“I know,” Jethro’s words were soft. “Do you remember how you got here?”

 

“Where am I?” Tony looked around and suddenly realized exactly where he was. “Oh no! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Hey,” Gibbs squeezed Tony’s shoulder. “You don’t need to apologize.”

 

“Right, rule 6.” Tony shivered again only to find that this time they drained the water and helped him to his feet.

 

Wrapping his boy in a robe, Gibbs paused to look at his friend. “Not rule 6, Tony. Rule 51.”

 

Tony was tucked safely into bed with Loretta checking him over before he had a moment to think about what was said. “He’s exhausted but the fever is down. I’m going to leave you two to work things out while I get him something to eat and make sure the rest of his guests are attended to.”

 

“You with me?” Gibbs questioned softly only to sigh in relief when Tony’s eyes focused on him. “Tony?”

 

“Yeah,” Tony nodded. “Can I have something to drink?”

 

“Sure,” Gibbs helped Tony drink the water that was at his bedside. “I was wrong, Tony.”

 

“What did I do?” Tony’s voice was soft almost childlike. It was in that moment that Gibbs realized it was the little boy longing for a father that was trying to rationalize his place in this world as his desire to be loved and to belong gave way to such strong emotions.

 

“Nothing,” the answer was light as Jethro dimmed the lights and placed his hand on Tony’s arm. “I screwed up; I was trying to save you from something that I had no right to.”

 

“From the loneliness you feel?” The question hung in the air like a thick, dense fog. “You made me feel lonelier by doing that. Sometimes, I felt humiliated.”

 

“I never meant to humiliate you.” Gibbs as if he had been punched in the stomach. “Never meant to hurt you; was trying save you.”

 

“I didn’t need saving,” Tony whispered. “I wanted a friend.”

 

“Agent Gibbs,” Palmer stepped into the room. “May I sit with him? I’d like to help him with this ice cream.”

 

Taking his place at Tony’s side, Palmer held the bowl while Tony ate until the ailing man was too tired to continue. Taking the spoon, the younger man gently spoon fed his best friend. “Do you know why I consider you my best friend?”

 

“No,” Tony’s throat clenched and his eyes filled with tears. “Why?”

 

“Because you are so giving,” Palmer smiled. “But mostly because I can count on you. You’ve been there for me and my family anytime we’ve needed you. You have been the person that I could go to when I needed someone talk to or when I needed a help up. You’ve always done that without looking down on me.”

 

“You’ve been a good friend too,” Tony whispered. “Could I have some more food? I’m really hungry.”

 

“You can,” Palmer paused as he stood. “No matter what you feel about your relationship with Gibbs; you have family. Your father is a fool; he has no clue how lucky he is to have you for a son.”

 

“Jimmy,” Tony grabbed his friend hand before he could move away. “Thanks.”

 

“Close your eyes for a bit,” Palmer said softly. “I’ll be back in a little while with food.”

 

Tony closed his eyes but soon found that his breath was coming in short, gasping pants as panic began to set in. “Don’t do that,” Gibbs’ voice said softly in his ear. “Slow it down, Tony. There is no reason to be upset or to panic.”

 

“How did you know I needed help?” Tony’s eyes focused on Gibbs. The older agent’s gut clenched hard. The truth would shatter his world but if he lied to him and Senior told the truth; it would shatter the team.

 

“My gut told me something was wrong,” Gibbs said softly. “Your father confirmed it and I followed my instincts.”

 

“My father called you to apologize for my being a bother; didn’t he?” Tony sighed deeply.

 

“He texted me to make sure you got here okay,” Gibbs corrected. “My gut had been churning all evening; I knew something was wrong. Next time, I want you to call me no matter what.”

 

“You’re not my father,” Tony snapped. “I’m not your problem.”

 

“I’d like a chance to be your friend,” Gibbs watched Tony for reaction. “I wouldn’t consider it a problem; I would consider it an honor to help you.”

 

“An honor?” Tony shook his head in disbelief.

 

“An honor,” Delores stepped into the room to check on her friend. “You’ve spent so much of your life thinking you had not worth that it’s going to take an act of Congress to prove that you do. You are kind and loving; sensitive and funny. You care about people; Tony and people care about you.”


	4. Chapter 4

Gibbs watched in fascination as Delores fussed over Tony. Her soothing touch, gentle tone and motherly demeanor had him almost back to sleep before more food came. As soon as it arrived, the older woman set about to feeding her friend all the while talking about movies.

 

Listening to the banter between Tony and Delores, Gibbs was astounded to learn what a close bond they had. He had not realized that Tony had kept Delores regular company and it seemed on occasion the rest of the team took part.

 

With the food consumed by their patient, Delores kept talking in quiet tones as she played with Tony’s hair. It wasn’t long before he was sound asleep. Slipping the mask with his breathing treatment over his nose and mouth, Delores stood and moved out of the way. “When that light on the front turns red, it will ding a little chime sound. Just turn the button off and turn that one on; that’s oxygen and it will help him sleep better for now.”

 

“How do you know about this?” Gibbs asked as he studied the machine that Palmer had brought in with some of Tony’s things.

 

“This isn’t the first time he’s been sick,” Delores explained. “I took care of him the last time; I went to his apartment because he didn’t show up for our movie date. When he didn’t answer, I called Timothy and he came over; let me in. We found Tony in bed with a fever and wheezing. Dr. Pitt came to check him over and taught me what to do.”

 

“I didn’t know,” Gibbs shook his head in disbelief. “How did I not know that?”

 

“He’s going to wake up and panic because something is on his face,” Delores explained. “When he does, gently take his hands and pull them away from his face but don’t let go of them. Slip the mask up with your opposite hand and just touch the skin above his top lip gently; it tickles a bit and will ground him.”

 

“How long did you take care of him?” Gibbs questioned as he watched Tony sleep. “How did he hide this from me?”

 

“I was with him for two days,” Delores smiled as Vance walked in the door. “Your team was on a forced leave due to overtime; he got sick the next day.”

 

“When was this?” Gibbs looked up when Vance stepped closer to the bed.

 

“Three months after your father died,” Leon said softly. “Yes, I know about it. He was supposed to be coming over to hang out with Jared and had to reschedule because he was too sick.”

 

“You didn’t call me?” Gibbs was so furious his nostrils started to flare. “I could have helped.”

 

“I didn’t know what you would have done,” Leon said gruffly. “You’ve not been yourself in over a year, Gibbs. Nobody knows how you are going to react. You’re all over the board; you need to understand it from our point of view. One minute, you are protecting them by staying away, the next you are watching their every move to make sure they are okay but you’re always distant and rather harsh with Agent DiNozzo.”

 

“I’m going for a walk,” Gibbs stood with a quick glance at Tony; he left without another word.

 

“Maybe I should go after him,” Delores looked from Tony to the door confused on what to do. Feeling a warm hand touch her arm, the older woman turned to look into the fever bright eyes of her friend.

 

“Don’t,” Tony rasped. “He’ll come back after he’s calmed down.”

 

“Gibbs doesn’t do emotions well,” Palmer offered as he handed cup of crushed ice to Delores and took his spot at Tony’s knee. “We need to get some fluids into you or you’re going to the hospital. Do you think we can work on that crushed ice and maybe some soup?”

 

“Yes,” Tony nodded as fear flashed in his eyes. He hated the hospital with a passion but it was something he could always survive as long as Gibbs was there; the old Gibbs that is. “Please no hospital.”

 

“We’re going to try hard,” Palmer promised. “Dr. Wade is downstairs right now making you some soup but she’s having a hard time staying away from her handsome patient. “I think you’re in some serious trouble, Tony. She’s got this mother hen look; you’re going to be..”

 

“Going to be what?” Loretta smiled from the doorway; she loved the company of this crew. “Are you afraid that I am going to steal Tony from you, Jimmy?”

 

“It crossed my mind,” Palmer nodded. “You are taking better care of him that I can.”

 

“Both take good care of me,” Tony’s voice was soft as he drifted in and out of sleep. “Gibbs is mad because of me, Jimmy.”

 

“Don’t worry about Gibbs,” Palmer reassured. “You listen to Dr. Wade and I will go see what I can do to calm the grumbling bear down.”

 

Tony’s gut churned hard; his anxiety rising like his temperature. Pushing off the breathing treatment mask, the ailing man pushed himself up on shaky feet. “Where’s Vance?”

 

“He went downstairs,” Palmer steadied his friend as Tony reached into the night stand and grabbed his gun.

 

Making his way down the stairs, Tony paused at the bottom of the stairs to get the dizziness under control while Palmer found Vance in the kitchen. “What’s wrong?” Vance took in the sight of a shaky, ill DiNozzo with gun in hand.

 

“Where’s Gibbs?” Tony gasped for air as a cough bubbled up in his chest.

 

“He went out the back door,” Ducky paused to really study his patient. “What on earth is wrong?”

 

“I need you to back me up,” Tony looked at Vance, a spark of pride rising when the other man drew his weapon without even questioning Tony and followed him. Making their way to the back porch, the NCIS director and the senior field agent found Gibbs with his hands in the air staring down the barrel of a gun.

 

“You don’t want to do this,” Gibbs’ voice was strong; unforgiving as he watched the deranged man adjust his hold on the gun. “Put down the gun and let me help you.” The gunman didn’t budge instead he raised the gun to aim for Jethro’s head. Taking a deep breath, the gunman placed his index finger on the trigger and squeezed only to hear three gun shots ring out before everything went black.

 

Turning, Gibbs caught Tony just as the younger man was about to collapse from the exertion. “I’ve got you.” Gibbs reassured before turning to Vance. “Leon?”

 

“Followed DiNozzo’s gut,” Vance explained as he took the suspects gun and checked for a pulse. “I’ll call in a team to handle this; you’re off with Agent DiNozzo until he can stand up without gasping for air.”

 

“Where’d his bullet go?” Tony gasped sending Vance looking. “Check Gibbs, please. Dr. Wade, please help him. Check Gibbs.”

 

“Agent Gibbs?” Loretta pulled the older man away from Tony allowing Palmer and Ducky to as she attempted to check Gibbs over. “Let me look, Jethro. Are you feeling any pain?”

 

“No,” Gibbs shook his head as he stepped away from the inquisitive doctor. “Just make sure he’s okay. Don’t worry about me; make sure Tony’s okay. Get him inside; he shouldn’t even be out of bed.

 

“If he hadn’t,” Leon stepped between Tony and Gibbs. “You’d be dead. What he did.. his gut saved your life. You two have a connection like I have never seen between agents before.”

 

“Tony?” Gibbs moved past Vance. “You okay? Look at me, DiNozzo. Take a breath, Tony. You can do this; breathe with me.”

 

“Boss?” Tony blinked hard as he clung to Palmer to stay up right. “Door frame.”

 

“Damn,” Vance whistled. “You’ve got a good eye.”

 

“Let’s get him inside,” Loretta directed. “I know he can’t go far because of the questions but I want him in the recliner to rest and ease his breathing. Jimmy, go up and get the breathing machine and medication.”

 

“I’ll help you.” Tim quickly moved across the porch having just arrived. “Just lean on me, partner.”

 

“You stay with Gibbs,” Tony instructed. “Watch his six; I can make it on my own.”

 

“No,” Tim snapped. “You can’t! Now stop it and let me help you.”

 

“We’ll help him,” Gibbs said softly as he got on the opposite side. “Go slow; he gets dizzy when he’s this sick. I’m right here, Tony. You can watch my six. Nobody I trust more than you to keep me safe.”

 

Gibbs tucked Tony into the recliner and gently placed the breathing treatment mask over his nose and mouth. The level of trust that was present was almost the older man’s undoing. Tony clung tightly to Gibbs’ sleeve when the older man tried to move away; a sense of familiarity settling between the two.

 

“See if you can get him to drink some of this soup,” Loretta handed Gibbs a mug. “He needs fluids and you, Jethro. Don’t upset him; he needs to stay calm and work on breathing in that medication.”

 

As soon as the machine dinged, Gibbs took the mask off his charge and gently raised the mug to his lips. To the two men, time stood still the only people in the world at that moment were Jethro and Tony; both needing the other to work through the demons that were surrounding them.

 

Without a fuss, Tony consumed the soup; his eyes fixed on Gibbs’ face. The only moment they left them was when Loretta came near him with a glass of juice which she helped him drink. “The agents that Director Vance has assigned to his case want to speak with both of you; I’d like to stay to monitor Tony’s health and keep them under control if that is okay.”

 

“Gibbs has my six,” Tony yawned. “I never turn down the company of a beautiful lady though.”

 

“Flattery, young man, will get you very far with me.” The female doctor settled in next to her patient where she could keep an eye on him and Gibbs. “If you want them to go away just squeeze my hand; I can be a very convincing pissed off doctor when I need to be.”

 

The questioning went rather smoothly as the agents were very sensitive to Tony’s health and concerned about his current state. Vance and Gibbs provided a great many of the heavy details while Tony dozed in and out of sleep under the watchful eyes of Palmer, Loretta and Ducky.

 

“Jethro?” Loretta placed a supportive hand on her friend’s back. “Let’s tuck you in on the couch to get some rest; you’ve been by Tony’s side since he got here. The rest of us have taken shifts; you need some rest.”

 

“I’ll rest when he’s doing better.” Gibbs grumbled.

 

“Boss?” Tony’s tired, glassy eyes struggled to focus. “You’re bleeding! I thought you said he was okay?”

 

“He wouldn’t let me check him over,” Loretta physically turned Gibbs towards her to see that blood was starting to seep through onto the waist of his jeans. “Come with me; we’re going to take a look.”

 

Ducky worked silently to patch up his old friend. The bond between the two needed no words as the elder doctor worked in silence. He knew better than anyone that when in his right state of mind that Gibbs would sacrifice anything for his team, especially Tony.

 

“You need some rest, Jethro.” Ducky helped Gibbs change into sweat pants.

 

“I’ll stay with DiNozzo,” Gibbs moved towards the chair by the recliner only to have Ducky and Loretta to step between him and the chair.

 

“Sleep for a while, I’m so tired I will just sleep. Director Vance and Jimmy can help for a while.” Tony’s breathing was becoming labored at the effort of speaking.

 

“Tony?” Gibbs looked hurt something that wasn’t an emotion that Tony was used to in his leader.

 

“As long as I can see you,” Tony sighed as he struggled not to cough. “I’ll be okay. You’ll wake up if I start coughing anyway; just like when I was in the hospital with the plague.”

 

“He’s right,” Brad walked through the door into the living room with a new breathing machine in his hand. “Let me see how Buckeye is doing while you settle in and sleep a while. I have not had a chance to catch up with him or meet the new additions.”

 

“Get some sleep,” Loretta led Gibbs to the sofa. “Dwayne will be here in a bit; he wants to make sure everything is safe. Director Vance called in our team to investigate the incident that happened here. You can trust us with your young man, Jethro. I promise, I won’t let anything happen to him.”

 

Gibbs settled in so that he was facing Tony, his eyes staying on his charge until the exhaustion finally took over.

 

“They going to be okay?” Pride asked as he walked into the living room with LaSalle and Brody.

 

“They will,” Loretta nodded. “I think what happened here today while frightening was therapeutic. They gave each other a great gift today; they gave each other time and love. The greatest gift one can give another is of themselves and they provided that today.”

 

“I’ve known Gibbs for a long time,” Pride smiled. “He’s like a brother to me; I’ve never seen him care for someone like he cares for Tony.”

 

“They lost their way for a while,” Ducky said softly. “I think they’ve found their way back. It’s just a shame that it took Anthony’s father hurting him again to make it happen.”

 

“Is he okay?” Senior’s voice came from being the concerned group. “Is my son, okay?”

 

“He will be fine with a great deal of rest, good food and fluids.” Brad stated without emotion. “All those things that Gibbs can offer him. Why don’t I have him give you a call when he’s stronger. Right now, I am going to leave strict order for rest and no stress.”

 

“I’ll show Mr. DiNozzo out.” Delores stepped in from the kitchen. “You need to make a choice, Mr. Dinozzo. Are you going to step up and be a father or are you always going to be a disappointment to your son? The memories you make in your life time; they are the memories he carries when you are gone.”

 

“You are not a young man,” Leon stated as he stepped behind Delores. “How are you going to spend the rest of your days?”

 

“Why did my son end up here?” Senior questioned. “I expected Gibbs to take him back to his apartment; not here to these primitive conditions.”

 

“Because your son asked to come home,” Gibbs moved to stand so that he was shoulder to shoulder with Vance. “When I am gone; this is his home. This is his home now; this is where he belongs.”

 

“All his life,” Palmer put an arm around Delores’ waist. “He’s wanted to belong somewhere; now he does. He has the family that he’s longed for all his life; you should be grateful that these people have taken him into their hearts; have given him the love that he craves. They have been his family for over a decade; they have loved him through heartache, heart break, a deadly disease and numerous injuries.”

 

“Seems he’s….” Senior paused.

 

“He’s given more than he’s taken.” Palmer interjected. “He’s my best friend.”

 

“And mine,” Gibbs turned to look at Tony, his lip curled in a smile as he slept. “and mine.”


	5. Chapter 5

Tony slept soundly while Gibbs and the Pride’s team went over the crime scene. His father was long gone and nobody really knew if the older man would ever come around again. To those that loved Tony, they felt it would be best if he didn’t but all silently agreed that if he did they’d be there to protect their friend.

 

 

Pride’s team took up residence in Gibbs home as they worked the case. The final verdict coming down to the fact that the gunman was related to someone Gibbs had killed in the line of duty. With the case closed, the visiting team could become involved in helping take care of Tony and Jethro.

 

 

“Boss?” Tony called out to Gibbs from the recliner. “I need up.”

 

 

Gibbs helped Tony out of the chair and let him take the lead on where they were going; taking him to the bathroom then to the back porch. Tony stood in the doorway only sitting when Loretta put a chair behind him and gently forced him down.

 

 

“You would have died.” Tony looked at Gibbs with tear filled eyes. “He pulled the trigger Gibbs; you would be dead now. How the hell would I have gotten past that? I mean every day, I know we risk not coming home alive. I know that; I signed up for that but for you to die in your own home. Damn it Gibbs, if I hadn’t made you angry then you wouldn’t have even been outside.”

 

 

“Tony,” Gibbs took a deep breath. “You didn’t make me angry; I was angry with myself for letting you down. You would have done what you do; you would have pulled it together for the team. I know you, Dinozzo. I count on you; maybe too much.”

 

 

“Gibbs?” The pain that flashed through Tony’s eyes surprised Gibbs. “It’s… I…”

 

 

“Tony,” Gibbs pulled a chair next to his charge. “I didn’t mean to upset you. What I meant by that was that I sometimes, I forget to give you down time or time to recover. I never stop to think that maybe you don’t want to do something or just need a break. You always have my six, I know that. You are the only person that I trust completely. Never trusted anyone like I trust you.”

 

 

“Even Franks?” Tony whispered.

 

 

“Not even Mike Franks,” Gibbs reassured as he squeezed Tony’s shoulder. “What do you say we go inside?”

 

 

“I’d like to stay out here for a while,” Tony took a deep breath. “I can breathe and I want to just remember what the world smells like right now. “

 

 

“You need a coat or a blanket,” Gibbs disappeared into the house giving Tony the moment he needed to sort his thoughts before returning with a warm drink and a blanket to warm his friend.

 

 

“You came for me,” Tony sighed. “Why did you come for me?”

 

 

“You needed me,” Gibbs answer was soft and simple. “I’ve screwed up a lot in the past, Tony. I know that and I know my biggest mistakes came from sheltering you from being like me. I let you down when you needed me. I can’t go back and change that but I can make sure moving forward that things are better.”

 

 

“I’ve let you down.” Tony sighed deeply. “I just wanted to make you proud, Boss.”

 

 

“You do, Tony. Every day of the fifteen years, you have made me proud. All those things in your head from your father, all those insecurities he planted, they are to control you. Don’t let him win, Tony.”

 

 

“Why did you bring me here?” Tony questioned as he pulled the blanket tighter around him.

 

 

“You wouldn’t go into your building, you said you wanted to go home; my home.” Gibbs turned to look at Tony surprised to see the younger man wiping tears from his cheeks.

 

 

“The last time I was here,” Tony gulped. “Jack was here for a visit. He brought a movie for us to watch. Did you know he came to apartment ? He wanted to see where I called home.” Tony shrugged. “He played my piano, his face lit up as his fingers danced across the ivory. “

 

 

“I didn’t know that,” Gibbs shook his head. “I do know that he liked you.” Gibbs watched as the memories fueled Tony’s pain. “Tony?”

 

 

“He was the first person to ever tell me that they loved me that I actually believed.” The watery smile soon turned into quiet sobs. “I really miss him, Gibbs. I really, really miss him.”

 

 

Pulling Tony into his arms, Jethro allowed himself a rare moment of vulnerability as he broke down along with his charge. “I do too, Tony. I do too.”

 

 

“Tony? Jethro?” Loretta’s soft voice pulled both men from their grief. “Let’s get you inside; it’s too cold out here for you. I sent everyone but Duane home; it’s just the four of us tonight.”

 

 

“I’ve got him,” Pride stepped around Gibbs to help Tony to his feet. “Let’s get you back upstairs and into bed where it’s warmer.”

 

 

“Jethro,” Loretta put an arm around her patient’s shoulder. “Let me check that bandage and then you can go up with Tony.”

 

 

Pride tucked Tony in and pulled the blankets up to keep him warm. “Listen, Tony. I know things with Gibbs have been rough since his father died. I know you’re feeling hurt and angry. I want you to keep in mind that people tend to lash out at those they love the most because they know they won’t go anywhere. “

 

 

“Gibbs has been so mean to me because he loves me?” Tony blinked a bit bewildered.

 

 

“After he lost Shannon and Kelly, he lost his way. He married over and over again; he was in multiple relationships trying to fulfill something that he lost when they died. All that changed fifteen years ago when a brash homicide detective joined his team. That young man brought back the sense of family and allowed him to refocus and regroup. He never let go of that pain; that agony of losing his wife and his child but he was able to survive when you joined his team.”

 

 

“He wants to die to be with them.” Tony whispered.

 

 

“As much as he wants to live to be here with you.” Pride sighed. “Home isn’t a house, Tony. It isn’t four walls and wallpaper ; it’s the people in your life that bring you a sense of home.”

 

 

“This is my home,” Tony yawned. “Where Gibbs is; that’s my home.”

 

 

“And where you are that is his,” Pride squeezed Tony’s arm. “Get some sleep, Tony.”

 

 

Standing, Pride paused when he saw Gibbs standing in the doorway. “What you said,” Gibbs cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

 

 

“Welcome home, Jethro.” Pride patted his friend’s back. “Welcome home.


End file.
